NOVEMBER 21, 2022
How To Keep Your Power
No one can make you feel a certain way.
Read that again.
It’s a normal part of our vocabulary to say things like “he made me so angry” or “she made me feel small” or “you’re driving me crazy!”
I want people to stop and re-examine such statements.
Do these other people control your emotions?
How can anyone force you to feel something?
Maybe they’re the spark, but you control the size of the flame.
As soon as you internalize this, you’ll take back your power.
Feelings As An Indicator
Next time you get offended, upset, angry, sad, or any other strong emotion, take a step back.
You’re feeling the way your feel, not because of something that’s happening outside yourself, but because of what’s going on inside yourself.
People in their power know that their emotions are not the end, but an indicator that something’s missing.
When our human needs are not met, that’s what drives an emotion. So stop, breathe, and identify the unmet need.
Are you angry because you need respect? Need control over your time? Need to be understood? Need to be accepted?
This is the ultimate way to get grounded, to stay calm and centered, so you can respond the way you chose, not the way your emotions are driving you to.
This is your power: to use your emotions to choose better outcomes, rather than be controlled by them.
Keep Your Power
Hear me say this. Your feelings are valid. They are real.
Yes, people can trigger you because they are insensitive, or rude, or racist.
But if your emotions take over, so you react blindly, you are no longer acting from a place of personal power.
You’ve given it away.
You have emotions. Feel them. Use them.
But you don’t have to blame the person for your emotion. No one can make you feel the way they want you to feel.
I’m not saying this is easy. You may have to separate yourself from the situation, take a walk, breathe, analyze what’s going on inside you – not inside the other person – before you can regain your power.
Ask yourself what unmet need is driving your emotion.
Then respond (rather than react) from that place of grounded centeredness.
As Maya Angelou said, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”